My archaeology lab exam has just scientifically proven that I’m an awful person.

BONUS QUESTION #1: Write down the hierarchy of Linnaean taxonomy. Must be in correct order.
ME: Aw hell, that’s easy. (scribble scribble)

BONUS QUESTION #2: Name five people in this class.
ME: … FUCK

There are few words as magical to a sleep-deprived convention-goer far from home than, “we don’t have any panels until tomorrow afternoon, we should sleep in.” Oh my god. I didn’t know only sleeping until 9:00 could be so rewarding. I feel more refreshed than I’ve been in a long time, and that’s at the end of the day.

So I and Amber, Friend of Cancerbaby, got to the convention wonderfully late after breakfast at Cafe 222. A word of advice for eating there: the menu says that the stack of pancakes is only three high, but don’t let that fool you. The pancakes are huge. I was starving and I only got about a third of the way through. Also you can get leftover pancakes boxed up, but they do not travel well and people look at you funny if you take them out in the middle of a panel for a quick nibble.

Panel number one of the day, at a luxurious 1:30 in the afternoon, was the “Bram Stoker: The Joss Whedon of His Day?” panel, which didn’t really discuss Joss Whedon all that much but laid out in no uncertain terms that vampires do not sparkle and that’s that. On the panel, among others, was Dacre Stoker, a man with one of the most unlikely names I have ever heard. Also Tony Lee is awesome.

After that, in the same room, was “Spotlight on June Foray.” Oh my god, June Foray. One of the people who shaped my childhood; my Dad raised me on Rocky & Bullwinkle and Loony Tunes. What a wonderful, beautiful, amazing, vibrant woman. And she can still do Rocket J. Squirrel perfectly. I hope the special Rocky & Bullwinkle audioplay they did gets YouTubed, because my father (and everybody else) needs to hear it.

There’s a certain genius to the writing of Rocky & Bullwinkle, in that they can get an entire room howling with stupid puns and silly punchlines far easier than the best social commentary or pop-culture jokes ever could. I think the same goes for a lot of comedy from that era, especially animated comedy, and it’s something I think modern comedy is lacking. I hope it makes a comeback someday.

While still gushing to each other about June Foray, Amber and I popped over to “We Control the Vertical: Writing and Producing for Television,” which was a lot less informative than I’d hoped it would be, and inevitably had a few “pitchers” in the questions queue. You know the type: the ones who ask in a long, rambling, roundabout sort of way about whether the panelists would be interested in this idea they’ve got. I hate these guys, they’re almost as bad as the ones who show up at writer interviews and ask for tips. Anyone who does either of these things: this may come as a shock, but we do not care about you. Chances are, neither do the writers or panelists. I fully appreciate that you need an ego to get into the writing business, but to truly succeed you need to learn when to shut the hell up.

But I digress.

In order to be able to get anywhere near the Mythbusters panel Amber and I had to wait in the line and watch the pilot for The Vampire Diaries. Think Twilight but trying to be “edgy” and made for the CW and you’ll get the idea. Also Boone from Lost is in it.

My hands hurt so much from clapping, and my throat is still burning from cheering when the Mythbusters showed up. I don’t think Discovery knew when they started the show six years ago that a bunch of SFX guys would have so much rock star quality. I’m fairly certain we out-screamed the Twitards. SCIENCE!

Also I had no idea Kari Byron was pregnant. Huh.

For once we’ve got an early night. We’ve got to show up early tomorrow if we want any chance of getting into the Doctor Who panel. I’m not sure if I’m going to have another freakout like I did around Neil Gaiman. I guess we’ll find out.

One last thing: as I was writing this and Amber was reheating some food, we found out that our microwave goes “ding”. Hooray!