Oh, my poor darling website. I have neglected you so. Here, have one of these:

Teddy Edwards drew this. He will be famous one day.

That tap-tap-tap-tap noise is the sound of me NEVER SLEEPING AGAIN.

Creepy factor aside, this is one of the coolest toy-sculpture-things I’ve seen in my life and I kind of want one. I’d take it to parties with me*. It would be my new best friend.

I’m posting this at night because if I’m not sleeping, then neither are you.

*especially if brownies had been ingested at said party.

My thoughts on Transformers 2:

I didn’t know there was a hole in my life until it was filled by seeing Optimus Prime kick the shit out of three Decepticons at once.

I guess my drag queen superhero comic isn’t that far-fetched an idea after all.

Check the date on that article. Nineteen-fucking-seventy-three.

My favourite line:

“We didn’t even ask questions,” said the Rev. Ray Broshears, 38. “We just took out our pool cues and started flailing ass.”

These guys need a low-budget ’70s-style exploitation flick made about them. Complete with cheesy voiceover. Now.